?

Log in

Chicken Sunday is not responsible for missing or breaded children. - Randomness. Malice. Woe. Sprinkles! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Yea, I make sport of thee, and mock thee...

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Chicken Sunday is not responsible for missing or breaded children. [Mar. 23rd, 2006|11:17 pm]
Yea, I make sport of thee, and mock thee...

delusionopolis

[fizzyland]
SomethingAwful has been up to their usual hijinks....

Kids. You've got 'em. We don't want them either, but Chicken Sunday understands that the condom is Devil Wrap, and we sympathize with your pain. This is why every one of our locations is equipped with a very special Chicken Sunday ball pit, located in the kitchen. While you eat in peace, your children will be playing - as well as learning about the dangers of exploration and curiosity. We've put our gigantic deep-fryers purchased from decommissioned submarines on overtime as a boiling pits of frying medium, as well as wonder and hollow plastic balls. Fear is the only thing that will teach children. Remember that well. Make sure to tell your little folk that the bottom of every Chicken Sunday ball pit contains five jacks, and the first child to find all five pieces of jagged metal boiling in oil - and eat them - will get to ride the stairs! It's burlap sack ride through the bumpiness of imagination! On some lucky days, the kids may even get to meet Steve Penderson the Magic Chicken - if he's out on furlough from death row - and learn how to set opposing, "alternative" churches on fire! If you've got a problem tucking 'em in at night, just bring the kids down to Chicken Sunday. We'll see to it that you get a full belly - and a good night's rest!
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: kij66
2006-03-24 08:33 pm (UTC)
heh, brilliant!
(Reply) (Thread)